Turning 21 is supposed to be this big, life-changing milestone that everyone hypes up. People make it sound like once you hit that age, everything about you is supposed to shift, your mindset, your maturity, your lifestyle, even your personality. That’s what I kept hearing from people around me: “How do you feel now that you’re 21?” or “Finally! You’re an adult now!” But when my birthday came, I honestly didn’t feel any different. I didn’t suddenly wake up wiser, more mature, or more put-together. I still felt like me, the same Chioma, the last-born, the girl with the soft personality who still wants to grow at her own pace. And that made me realize something: maybe 21 is only a big deal because people make it a big deal. I see a lot young people get excited to finally be 21, to me it’s the opposite, I get emotional about it cause why not?
Growing up in an African household taught me that adulthood isn’t a race. Back home, turning 21 doesn’t mean you have to move out, “have everything figured out,” or suddenly become fully independent. You can live with your parents until you graduate, start working, and get your life in order. There’s no shame in taking your time or leaning on family while you grow. But here, in America, respectfully it feels like the moment you say you’re 21, people expect you to flip a switch and act like a “real adult.” You’re expected to know certain things, take on certain responsibilities, and show some kind of magical maturity overnight. And honestly, that kind of pressure is overwhelming. It makes you feel like you’re behind when really, you’re just human. When I tell people my age, they don’t believe me instead they say I don’t act my age or I don’t look it. I don’t know what perception they have about how People are supposed to act when they turn 21. At this point I hesitate before saying my age because I don’t want to be judged or looked at in a certain way.
The truth is, I’m not ready to rush myself into adulthood just because society expects it. I’m still learning, still figuring myself out, and still trying to understand the version of “adulting” that works for me. Yes, I’m 21 now, but that doesn’t erase my personality, the playful part of me, the soft part of me, the part of me that still feels young. And that’s okay. Being 21 doesn’t mean I have to perform adulthood or pretend that I’m suddenly too grown to ask for help, lean on people, or feel unsure. I want to grow naturally, not forcefully. I want to go at my own pace, not the pace that social media, society, or anyone else sets for me. So maybe the hype around 21 isn’t about the age, it’s about the expectations. And maybe I’m finally learning that it’s okay not to live up to an expectation that was never mine to begin with. I wish I could always be a child, being an adult scares me.
I get that completely I am not 21 yet but I saw how the struggles hit my brothers when they turned 21. As long as you have people by your side helping you everything will be ok.
ReplyDeleteHey Chioma! I love your blogs and everything you said just feels a little too relatable about growing up so fast. The idea of it at least. Your writing is so nice and very well spoken. Good Job! I loved it
ReplyDeleteChioma--Excellent finish to the blog project. You have interesting, relevant topics that are discussed well, and you lay out a blog that is engaging, supported, and visually appealing. Thank you for taking your writing seriously and continuously working to create connections with your audience and significance for them. Great job. I hope you will keep blogging!
ReplyDelete